Ignorance is Bliss?

Recently I had a conversation about the future and whether I would want to see into my future or not. It kind of turned into a chicken or the egg conversation. If I saw my future, like who I was going to marry for example, what if it wasn't who I was dating at the moment? Dating would seem pretty pointless then since I knew it wasn't going to get anywhere, so would I end it, or just try to fight what I saw and stick with it? BUt, the porblem is is there's always the worrying that the vision was right, that the relationship WAS going to end, and the worry would cause me to just be WAITING for the end, and when you're just waiting for the end, eventually it will come. So, if you see into the future, do you carry out the rest of your life according to what you know will happen, resulting in exactly what you saw, or do you fight it, trying to change what you saw, the whole time just waiting for fate to take it's turn and change everything you tried so hard to keep, resulting in the same vision of future?
I've decided I NEVER want to see my future. I think I'd go crazy from the life changing decisions that already were technically decided for me. Ugh. Hurts my brain.

-Rae

From Beauty to Beast

Katherine Ivanovna grew up in a beautiful home with money and authority. She gave it up for a man who turned into a drunk bastard. The ways in which her life changed drastically and went from beautiful and joyful to ugly and terrible is just one example of how Dosoyevsky uses aesthetics. He tends to take beautiful things and either turn them ugly, or place them in an area that is unworthy of them and knows no beauty. Katherine Ivanovna resents the fact that, "she had been brought up in a 'noble, one might say an aristocratic home, a colonel's home; and what she had been groomed for was not to scrub floors with her own hands or to launder her children's rags at night." Growing up she was used to beautiful things and being surrounded by people of authority and manners. Now, on the day of her husband's funeral, she was surrounded by "a shabby little clerk in a greasy jacket, with blackheads and a repulsive odor, who said nothing; a deaf and almost totally blind old man" and also, "some drunken former lieutenant also showed up, with the loudest, most unpleasant laugh and without a vest" among others. She refers to her guests as sluts and clowns.

Not only is she surrounded by an ugly environment and ugly people, but she herself has become far from beautiful. It was not unusual for Katherine Ivanovna to end up in "an unbearable coughing fit that lasted five minutes." This occurred at her dinner party and when she managed to stop coughing, " There was some blood on her dress, and drops of sweat stood out on her forehead. She silently showed Raskolnikov the blood." When Raskolnikov first sees Katherine Ivanovna, he describes her as a delicately built woman, fairly tall and well proportioned, with still attractive dark brown hair." However, he then notes that, " she had grown terribly thin, and her cheeks had turned red as though with stain...lips parched, her breath coming in broken and irregular gasps." It is safe to say that this women use to be fair and pretty but the ugly lifestyle and environment she has unfortunately inhibited gave her beauty no chance of existence and soon turned her ugly not only in appearance but in health and attitude, for she screams at her husband and children constantly. It is hard to hold on to any beauty you have when you are living in the ugliness of poverty.

chemsford.

Dostoyevsky

words you can make from the letters in Dostoyevsky's name!!!

sky
stove
toy
key
dost (I think that's Shakespearean language)
vest
yes
veto
dove
soy


okay I think I have spent enough time on this. I should be writing my blog post on Crime and Punishment but I can't find the list of choices for topics! I have copied them down three times now and always loose them! So if anyone would like to send those my way that would be excellent and I can finally get that darn post over with.

chemsford.

Every Damsel needs a Romantic Hero to Sweep her off her Feet.

So I've been putting off this required blog post for an unreasonably long time.
I think vacation got to me and until the reality of school hit again today school was out of the question for the whole week.. plus the fact that I prepared myself for vacation a couple days before the break actually started didn't help me get my work done ahead of time since it's a give in, being the natural procrastinator that I am, that I wouldn't do it any time over vacation until the night before school. And lookie this, it's even a day LATER than my usual procrastinator self.
Any ways, I'm stalling.

Svidrigailov's surprise visit to Roskolnikov gives him the wrong first impression. He comes off very blunt and straight forward with a rude air about him. He tells Raskolnikov, without beating around the bush, that he presents himself for two reasons, even having the nerve to make assumptions: "I fancy you won't refuse me a little help in a certain project of mine that touches directly on the intersts of your dear sister... Because of certain prejudices, she wouldn't even admit me into her yard by myself...But with your help...". From accounts told by Dunia and her mother, Svidrigailov had ruined Dunia's pride and reputation, therefore giving both the characters and the reader alike a sense of distrust for Svidrigailov. Personally, Svidrigailov seemed like some kind of perv, and him showing up under such mysterious cercumstances made him seem like a stalker. Instead of being sketchy, Svidrigailov shows a sense of modesty by trying to put him and Roskolnikov on the same level of understanding. He tries to create a friendly atmosphere between the two as opposed to the tension that Raskolnikov stirs up.

As the conversation goes on between the two characters, Svidrigailov states the idea of whether or not he is "the monster or the victim". In the reader's sense, he would be the monster, but he argues his case that he only followed through with his "disgraceful" actions with the motivation to find mutual happiness for the both of them. Being rejected by a woman, it would seem a man's pride would be injured. Especially with the characters throughout the novel. Pride seems to be a key flaw with many characters, but Svidrigailov doesn't follow this trend. Instead of pursuing Dunia out of revenge or "cursing" her, he seeks her out and offers his money in the form of an apology: "I make this proposal without any calculation. You may beleive it or not.... Since I'm genuinly sorry, I'd really like.. simply to do her some good. Buying someone off would usually seem like a bribe, especially since it is known that Dunia isn't well off, but he offers it with a sense of kindness. He does it to relieve himself from the guilt, but in the end he gets nothing in return.

The one chapter of conversation between Svidrigailov and Roskolvikov is one of the most interesing chapters. Svidrigailov becomes an admirable character, putting his shady first impression aside. Although he is offering money as a guilt payment, he does it wanting good for Dunia, not for her love or thanks in return. He accepts her rejection with understanding and gives her a sense of space. He turns out to be a Romantic Hero, trying to save his Damsel in Distress even with her rejection and (understandable) unthankfullness of his actions.

-Rae