while on vacation..

I've been on vacation for the better part of this week and I have gotten quite a bit of reading done. One quote in particular stuck out to me, for no reason except that I found it strangely pretty.

"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me."

I love the simile and the feeling it leaves behind. That simple.
-Riz

Don't Forget Those Secondary Characters

Point of View and Secondray Characters in Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Crime and Punishment is told mostly by Raskolnikov. This allows the reader to feel the emotions that he is feeling due to his crime. The reader gets the sense of insanity that he starts to feel progressively throughout the book. You can draw the conclusion that he feels isolated from society, and starts to realize that he isn't above moral law from his words. For example
"he would not have been able to address a single human word to them, so
abruptly had his feelings been drained. He suddenly felt within himself a
gloomy sensation of tormented, infinite solitude and estrangement."(Part2;Ch1;p98)
You wouldn't be able to understand the emotions that are overcoming Raskolnikov if he wasn't narrating the book.

Aside from Raskolnikov, there are other important secondary characters in Crime and Punishment. First, Sonya plays a key role in the development of Raskolnikov's story. Her character is parallel to that of Raskolnikov's. This is evident through the fact that they both show sin in their actions. Sonya prostitutes herself out for money, and Raskolnikov murders two innocent women for money. Raskolnikov relates to Sonya and her situation, but does not let himself reconize that there is a key difference in their sins. Sonya's sin is a sacrafice for the sake of supporting her family, and Raskolnikov sins only for his own sake. Sonya is an important secondary character because she is a way for Dostoyevsky to show proverty, importance of faith in family and religion, and the poor treatment of women in the time frame this book is set in.

Another important secondary character in this novel is Svidrigailov. He may be considered a villan in the novel, but all the same is vital to the development of Raskolnikov's story. He becomes a better person with the death of his wife, and shows many good deeds. He is rough on the outside, but has generous attitude on this inside. He has his own thoughts and opinions that prove to be Dostoyevsky's more in depth analysis of the hardships that Russia is going through during the time period. An example of this is shown when Svidrigailov explains his vision of the enternity that you encounter after death. He explains it as " a single little room-a bathhouse in one of our backwater villages [..] sooty, spiders in all corners-and that's all there is to eternity."(Part4;Ch1;p277). I see this as an allusion to the condition that Russia is in during that time frame. Svidrigailov's bluntness is exatly what the book is in need of it.

All of the character's in Crime and Punishment were purposely added by Dostoyvesky to show the troubled times in Russia's past. They help make allusions to the proverty that Russia is stricken with.

KMART:)

Independance Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those who hate exclamation points, I'm sorry but I couldn't express my excitment in any other way.. for today.. actually tomorrow.. I am BUYING a CAR.

For those who don't know, I had a B-E-A-Yu-Tee-Full Kia whom I loved very dearly, but unfortunatly she met her end in front of Old Mill when she was impacted badly from the side by a little red junker. I'm not gunna lie.. I cried for a month after. Not only did I loose my car but I lost a hugggge sense of freedom. My dad asked why it was such a big deal seeing as four months before I was in the same situation: stranded aka car-less.. but to put in perspective for all those teen drivers: Imagine having NO car. I know that's not much of a description but when you go from having the independance of having your own car to all of a sudden relying back on the parentals for rides or bumming rides off of friends.. or. heaven forbid taking the bus.. you really start to appreciate the freedom you have in a set of keys.
So.. I am thankful for the past year I had without a car. Although it hurt my bank account to loose the car in the first place.. and now to replace it with another one.. it was nice to really see how much to apreciate something.. plus.. I have bad anxieties when I feel stranded.. I can't enjoy myself becuase I'm so stuck on the idea that I CANT be somewhere even if I wanted to. Eventually I got over that and now .. weirdly.. I appreciate being home more than I ever did cause I was never around to enjoy it.

So... in conclusion: I am thankful for the year I had as a carless teen but glad to be back in the club... and yes my new 99 Ford Escort that I am buying for 500 dollars (plus about a million more for the gas and insurance I will be paying on it) is a little on the junker side.. I feel that I will love it and cherish it and I am happy to have my on the road independance back :)

-rae

Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta - Geto Boys


check it out.. it has been stuck in my head all day.
if your interested in some other good beats...

Jerk It Out - The Caesars
Bruises - Chairlift
Love Lockdown - Kanye West
Humans - Killers
Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon
Human After All- Daft Punk
Don't Want to Hurt You - The Sounds

This has basically been my playlist lately.
-kmart

The root word of Nonsense is sense.

"I love nonsense! Talking nonsense is man's only privilege that distinguishes him from all other organisms. If you keep talking big nonsense, you will get to sense!"

I love this because it seems that I talk a lot of nonsense sometimes, and though it may not seem productive, Razumikhin is right; Talk enough nonsense and you will start making sense!

chemsford

Reply to MS: Obama? Anti-Christ? Whaa?

So I was reading MS's post, "Nothing to do with Literature", and was writing a comment on it and was elaborating so much so I decided to just do a new post. To see where it origins from just check out her blog page... I am also sorry if the post gets too relgiious but I think relgion is a fun and debatable topic... sorry to those who disagree:
But I think her post is especially interesting because I was just talking about the whole theory of Obama being the anti Christ. I know someone who is very religious and, although I am a Christian also, they take the bible way literally then I think anyone should, especially, the last section, Revelations, telling about the end of the world. She feels that the end of the world is upon us, and I don't agree with her, but I feel that her theory has more support behind it then I want to admit, making it hard to argue against her, even though it's incredibly radical. I enjoy hearing theories though and I think it's interesting. After reading the Left Behind books, which is a series based on Revelations but made more into a narrative action series, I know a lot about the whole idea of the Rapture without reading the bible. It is prophsized that the anti-christ will be a leader who appeals to many and will gather an amazing amount of followers. He is predicted to gain fame out of no where, meaning he will be no one but in, say, two years later, be greatly known. The next step is to create a universal government, a system based on the unity of everyone, inlcuding one unified relgion and so on, and with the anti christ having such charisma and appeal, he is nominated to be the leader of the universal government.
Of course that much of a detailed acount is through the narrative, but the Anti-Christ's purpose is to turn away humans from God, to defy him. In doing this he has to appeal and unify the world. The book describes him as having "a mouth speaking great things". On a website based off the idea of the Rapture and Revelations, it says, "The Antichrist will rise to power on a wave of world euphoria, as he temporarily saves the world from its desperate economic, military & political problems with a brilliant 7-year plan for world peace, economic stability & religious freedom". He will receive the support of many nations and for a while, "... most of the world is going to think he is wonderful, as he will seem to have solved so many of the world's problems".
Now, of course this winds onto the path of relgion and theories which can get kind of messy... but talking with person A (my friend) abotu this, it was just weird. She was saying how Obama was a Senator and had political background, but just in the past couple years has his name been known, and now he's going to be Preident. He grew an amazing amount of followers throughout his presidential campaign, whether it be his charisma that made his speaking talents appealing, or his slogan of bringing hope to a nation that is well in the need of it. We are in an economic crisis and we have lost much of the faith in ourselves because of the discourging war and the loss of support in our current President, andObama enters the scene and promises to, " always be honest with [America] about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it’s been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years", restoring the hope that our nation is going to be rebuilt and him being the hero to lead us there. He also says, "Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long...And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn – I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too", which person A said followed his idea of unity. He appeals to African Americans, which brings more minorities into the support group than ever, also since he has a Muslim background, and I know it was when he was very young and he isn't Muslim now, but some might find this relatable and therefore support him. He brings many people together through their support that would not come together otherwise. Also, he is already closly affiliated with many foriegn officials through visiting while campaigning. According to some, his begining steps of his Presidential career are much like those predicted of the Anti-Christ when he comes to power. And let me repeat if it is not clear: I DO NOT STATE THESE AS MY VIEWS OR ARGUE THIS THEORY. I jsut think it's interesting to talk about.

Over and out.

-Rae

A Word From The Wise

I recieved these words in a workshop, entitled Ways of Council: Wilderness Ceremonies in an Increasingly Crazy World, that I had during the MYAN Peer Leadership Conference that I attened with MASK. When I read the title to the workshop that I was placed in, I thought that it was going to be dumb, but it turned out to be the most beneficial one I attended. It taught you ways to relax, and to feel more connected to nature. He gave us this handout. It had some of the best advice I have heard in a while, I thought I would share it with you all.



drink less soda. AVOID CREDIT CARDS. SEEK CRITICS. MATH IS UNDERRATED. enbrace your weirdness. TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH. VOLUNTEERING MAKES YOU RICH. EMBRACE A HOBBY you will never master. TAKE YOUR PHOTO every year. POPULARITY IS FLEETING. OVERDRESS. tattoo removal hurts even more. KINDESS COMES BACK. EVERYONE LIKES THE GUY WITH THE GUITAR. LOTTERY TICKES ARE FOR SUCKERS. YOUR VOTE WILL REALLY MATTER. ITS OK TO ASK FOR HELP. never let your job description DEFINE YOU. BUY LAND. NOT BEER. forgive your parents. they were just kids. THE WORLD NEEDS HOPE. not hype. BE GLAD YOU DID. not wish you had. be the change you want to see. ALWAYS KNOW YOUR TRUE INTENTION. if mama ain't happy. AIN'T NOBODY HAPPY. remember to take many deep breaths. ALWAYS have a DOG buddy nearby. make more messes when YOU PAINT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO COLOR within the lines. wake up a bit earlier THAN YOU MIGHT WANT. people are not perfect. don't be in SUCH A RUSH. you'd be suprised what TASTES GOOD. bullies end up PUMPING GAS. expertise is relative. NAPPING helps thinking. embrace KARAOKE. shame is always useless. be on the side of the ANIMALS. GROW YOUR OWN TOMATOES. trust your gut. floss. OTHERS WILL THINK what they want; do it ANYWAY. take a sabbatical now and again. listening TRUMPS TALKING everytime. give the benefit of the doubt. art IS A DOOR NOT A WINDOW. trust yourself-you'll FIGURE IT OUT. fearing change KEEPS YOUR GLASS HALF EMPTY. lose being careful; careful being loose. there's NEVER A WIZARD BEHIND THE CURTAIN. sit up STRAIGHT-seriously! LIVE EVERY DAY like you'll die TOMORROW. dont worry so much and have fun. FACT OF LIFE: image matters. LOOK FOR THE BEST IN everybody. BE TRUE to yourself. slouching looks terrible at 40. WHATEVER you do just MAKE IT BEAUTIFUL.


KMART:)

The Death of Me (continued)

This blog will be the death of me. i never know what to post, and when to post. and it just stresses me out.

Ekkkk

While reading, I feel like I want to shut Raskolnikov up when he gets the urges to blurt out that he murdered the ladies. This book really stresses me out. This novel seems like one of the only situations where I find myself cheering of the bad guy. I mean, he committed murders to "better the world" but regardless he murdered two people. The uncontrollable, unsure side of Raskolnikov ticks me off. I just wish I could help keep his secret for him, for whatever reason. The worst part of the novel is the anxiety I felt when he wanted to run over to the police station and turn himself in. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING BUDDY?! Thank goodness he got distracted by the guy that got ran over by the horse (which was completely random).

I also like how Dostoyevsky adds things into the novel that kind of lets you know he grew up around a mental hospital. It's really interesting. For example when he talks about how he can point out a person that is mentally not healthy and how he mentions a lot about justification. It's all very interesting.

That's all..
Riz

QUESTION???

Could it be that the poem "Living in Sin" could be written by Adrienne Rich instead of Pastan? Or am I just not looking this up correctly. I know this probably isn't what I was suppose to do, but I just typed it into Google to read the poem (because I haven't been to the library yet) and nothing really pops up for "Living in Sin" Pastan. I don't know. I'll hit the library tomorrow.

-Riz

p.s i posted about this because i figured someone would be able to help me through blogging faster than email/or in person. yay blogs

Tourists

"'Everybody's getting rich one way or another; so I wanted to get rich quick too.' I don't remember the exact words, but the idea was he wanted something for nothing, and quick, without work!"

This quote comes from "Crime and Punishment" and reminds me of the customers I get at Calvin Klein. They want something for nothing and try to bargain for whatever they want. No, it doesn't work like that in this store, it shouldn't work like that anywhere.

-Riz

Sanitary

So... I was at work today, as I am every Sunday, enjoying my 5-12 shift at Dunkin Donuts. I've been there three years, so I'm pretty much an expert when it comes to serving costomers their coffee and donuts, occasionally a bagel or sandwich, too. There was a new kid on the job today, and as he was filling the ice bin that holds a crap ton of ice for ice coffee, he started to use his hands to level out the top layer. I started cracking up, because of course you can't pet the ice with your hands! I mean I would like to think we all wash our hands after any dirty task, and I'm sure he wasn't wiping sickening bacteria on the ice, but still. It's like grabbing the donuts with your hand and handing it to a costomer. We take such precautions to NOT touch people's food. It made me think about why Americans trust the fast food industry so much. Now.. not to brag or anything... but our manager has done a really good job with the store and taking control or a store of teenagers and we all learn to keep things sanitary and wear gloves and wash hands... you get it.. but I highly doubt every store is like that.. there's plenty of times im sure it's tempting to pick up something without a glove. What about McDonalds, burger king, wendys? all those healthy food places ya know? There's always teenagers working these places, a lot who are there making minimum wage not giving a crap about who they're handing things out too, so picking a dropped burger bun off the ground might not mean a thing, jsut another whopper out the drive thru window. So why do Americans trust all these teenagers so much?
Maybe we're all just too lazy to make our own food and coffee that concern about what's REALLY touching our food, let alone what's IN the food (the usual argument), goes out the window.
This argument might be incredibly stupid but I have been deep in thought about it.
hmmm.

-rae

I Am Not Cruel, Only Truthful

"I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see, I swallow immediately.
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike
I am not cruel, only truthful –"
-Sylvia Plath

This is the first stanza of "Mirror" which is the poem I must analyze for class. These first couple lines are awesome. The speaker, which is a mirror, blankly states what it does. It sees things and reflects them without choice. I love the concept that the mirror is only truthful. You may not always like what it shows you, but it is not altered by the worlds opinions and love and hate, it is honest, even when you don't want it to be. We are so used to fraud opinions and the bitter truth is often sugar coated with white lies, that the mirror is a reality check because it only knows what is right in front of it, and nothing else.

chemsford.

Modern Art

So we had a discussion in Art class today about art (weird right?). My teacher likes to give us example of art that follow along the guidelines of our next asignment, which happens to be abstract. A psychedelic picture came up with lots of flouresently colored circles and everyone immediatly thought of the sixties, which moved us on to the topic of culture and its effect on art and vise versa. The argument came up of wether art was influnced by culture, or as my teacher said, art changes first.. and change in culture follows. She said even change in music comes after art. So this made me really wish that I knew something about art. You could stick something from Picasso in front of me and I wouldn't know the difference between that or something painted yesterday. It's not so much I wish I knew art but I wish I understood the cultural effect it had. I love looking back on the history of music and directly relate events of history to certain songs, but in art.. it's just whether or not i see a fish or a bunch of squiggly lines. The more abstract idea I conceived from this whole conversation is how art is changing now, modern day art, that will somehow change and influence the culture later. So now I am looking up modern art on Google Images hoping to be better informed on the modern day art of our culture.
Ugh. I hate wanting to be sophisticated and full of knowledge. Such effort.

-rae

The death of me

This essay we were assigned it going to be the death of me. I dont know what to research. I dont know what to write about. I dont know how to start. Its 10:30 and I can't do anything productive with this darn essay. So I'm blogging. I don't remember The Rivals. It's all a blur to me. King Lear is now my best friend. Which is the most horrifying thing I have ever said. So goodbye everyone, because this paper is seriously going to kill me.

I guess its not so bad...

In years past, every time I heard the title Crime and Punishment, I have dreaded the day that I would have to read it. So that fateful day came sometime last week. I was handed the dreaded thick, red book and told to read the first 80 or so pages. When I began the book, I quickly realized that it was actually an easy read. I could understand what was going on and I really didn't mind reading it. Although it is filled with poverty stricken people, young girls who are forced to turn to prostitution, and even murder, the plot is interesting and easy to follow. The depressing story catches your attention and makes you want to read more. I am actually eager to find out what happens to the protagonist, whose name I cannot spell or pronounce. The only downfall to this story so fall is the difficult Russian names. I find myself skipping over them because I can't even begin to pronounce these foreign names. Overall, this book isn't such a burden after all, and hopefully I will feel the same way about it as I continue to read.